For the longest time I have been a reckless individual, weather it was with your love or our plans the next day, one thing always came between you and I. I think about this constantly, the pain and torment I must have put you through, and for what to numb my heart and soul from feeling every inch of your embrace. My heart is full this time, and I am not hiding from my self anymore. I have caused too much pain and anguish over this issue of mine. I have always taken the easy way out my whole life. I try not to follow through with my life goals, even though I know I am very capable of them, and I want to see them through it's just this wall in front of me I can't see past. I have laid this all to rest, I am almost seven months sober, and I have put together plans to finish my schooling. I don't want to be that guy anymore who treats others like a door mat, I want to be liked once more in your eyes. I want to be seen as the person I was intended to be. I am trying my very hardest not to push or pull at your strings, I already feel like I am lost in this tangled web I have wove. I want to make peace between us, and find some stability in our lives.Our love has been lost in the rough and I can see this tearing you apart at times. I can do as I see fit here, and grow and hope you see some change in me someday. I wish things were different , but at the same time this needed to happen for me to understand exactly what I was doing to you and my self. Try and understand my intentions for us are as pure as can be, I really miss my best friend.
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